I have been a husband for a long time (No, I’m not going to tell you for how long!). You would think I would know better than to trip a marital landmine. The problem is that I am an external processor (see my blog “Communication Styles” . When my brain processes, my mouth talks and that is scary! Take the other day as an example. My wife did something that didn’t make sense. She is an internal processor. It takes her a while to get the words out while the brain is composing. She said hesitantly, “I wasn’t…” and I finished her sentence, “thinking.” I discovered internal processors can project this very scary look when misread. You can feel it piercing your skin. I realized that the person who wasn’t thinking was ME. Here is how to avoid saying something stupid:
- If it sounds “cute” in your head, it probably will come across sarcastic.
- Let the other person finish their sentence. It will give you time to forget your cute response.
- Always say something loving.
The old saying is true, “Think before you speak.” I’m not sure who first said that but I bet it was an external processor who got busted!
(c) Wally Johnston 2013