The death of Antonin Scalia has had a profound effect on the Supreme Court. He was one of the most vocal justices on the court. Without him, the Supreme Court “family” changed. People like Justice Thomas spoke for the first time in ten years during a session! He is trying to fill the gap Scalia left. A couple of the liberal judges have been more open with their forceful questions during sessions. The system that ran the Supreme Court changed.
The same can be true with family systems. All families work within certain parameters or rules. These rules are not written, but everyone understands what they are. As long as the roles are being maintained at status quo (homoeostasis), everything runs as usual. But if one or more of the family members changes, it throws the balance off, much like an unbalanced car tire, you get wobble.
As an example, let’s say one person in the family has had a long-term illness. Another family member may be their primary caretaker. What happens when the ill family member dies? That’s right–wobble. Things are not the same and the caretaker especially might have a hard time adjusting. Sometimes the imbalance comes when someone in the family get healthier! Say what?! Let’s say the ill family member is an alcoholic. That person becomes their caretaker. We call the caretaker a “co-dependent.” The alcoholic is dependent on alcohol and the co-dependent is dependent on caring for them. They enable then to continue drinking. Now, let’s say the person goes to AA and gets sober. What happens to the co-dependent? Wobble! They don’t know what to do with themselves because they have put themselves second to the alcoholic. It’s like someone said, “When a person is dying, their life flashes before them. When a co-dependent is dying, everybody else’s lives flash before their eyes!”
Presently, what is happening with the Supreme Court is a prime example of the imbalance of family. If you are facing this kind of challenge remember to also take care of yourself. Exercise and maintain healthy habits that will keep life in balance. Don’t forget your spiritual life. There is nothing more important than maintaining a healthy relationships with God. Who better understands the “wobble?”
(c) 2016 by Wally Johnstonby